I think the hardest part of ones journey is to look in the mirror and realize you are not the person you thought you’d be. When you’ve faced this reality, where do you go?
It’s hard to be honest when assessing who you really are. No-one wants to see the flaws within their own character make-up, let alone accept them. It is much easier to hide behind our flaws by continually bringing to light the flaws in those around us.
For the first time in a very long time, I took a long hard look in the mirror and I couldn’t even recognize the image gazing back at me. The once joy filled eyes were full of sadness and emptiness. Years of bitterness and hidden hurts have replaced the youthful glow with ghostly tones.
The reality is that the image in the mirror is the person I have created. Years of bad choices, unhealthy people and the need to self preserve has allowed me to build a fortress that has become impenetrable. Living life behind the wall doesn’t protect you, it creates a life of loneliness and fear.
It is this fear that I must face at this point of my journey to continue on. Fear of failure, fear of rejections, fear of the unknown are all things that have conjured this darkness within me. I must face my own demons, both real and imagined, and fight the good fight.